Menopause, Weight Gain, and Self-Criticism

One of the things I hear from many women going through menopause is how frustrated they feel by the changes in their bodies.

Maybe the weight has crept up. Maybe clothes don't fit like they used to. We may be doing many of the same things we've always done, but we're not getting the same results.

I get it! It is so frustrating.

What concerns me is how often that frustration is turned against ourselves. I've heard women say things like, “I must be lazy”, “I have no willpower”, or “I must not be trying hard enough”. Yet these same women are often working, caring for others, managing busy lives, dealing with difficult relationships, and navigating significant hormonal changes all at the same time.

Menopause is not a personal failure. Our bodies are changing, and they may need something different from us than they needed ten or twenty years ago.

Instead of asking yourself, "What's wrong with me?" try asking, "What do I need right now?" It’s a small shift, but it can make a big difference.

You don't have to love every change that comes with aging. Most of us don't. Conversations with my friends often begin with, “Aging sucks!” But we deserve to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a good friend. This stage of life can be challenging enough without becoming our own harshest critic.

If you’re struggling with the emotional impact of menopause, body changes, or self-criticism, therapy can be a place to explore those experiences with support and compassion.