In my therapy work, I often hear people describe the same frustration at the start of a new year. They set thoughtful, well-intentioned goals, like exercising more, reducing stress, setting boundaries. Towards the end of January, they begin to feel discouraged when those changes don’t last.
From a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) perspective, this isn’t a failure of motivation or discipline. Lasting change is difficult when goals aren’t connected to deeper values, thought patterns, and sense of identity.
In my work with clients, we focus on more than just behaviour change. CBT helps us notice the automatic thoughts and beliefs that shape daily choices, while also clarifying what truly matters to you. When goals align with who you want to become, not just what you feel you should be doing, then they become more realistic and sustainable.
Rather than asking, “What goal should I set?” I often invite clients to reflect on a different question: “Who am I becoming, and what small, values-based steps support that identity?”
When our goals are grounded in our personal values and supported by CBT strategies, progress becomes less about willpower and more about self-awareness, consistency, and self-compassion. And these changes last long after January ends.
If you’re feeling stuck or discouraged with your goals, therapy can offer space to clarify what matters most and build change that fits your real life. You’re welcome to reach out to learn more or book a session when it feels right.
Lisa M
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